saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
tell me about the fingering
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