12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
