FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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