I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize