Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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