Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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