so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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