He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
