Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
