we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
