I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
