you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
being pregnant is like rehab
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize