yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
