You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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