Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
