Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
