just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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