I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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