I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
