I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize