I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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