You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
