ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
