I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
