Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Damn victory sex feels great
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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