Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
