Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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