I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
