If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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