just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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