are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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