dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize