make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
