dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
