i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ugly people sure do ruin things
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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