I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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