Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
