K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
