But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
