I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
