I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
