Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize