I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
