Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize