im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
