and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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