i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
