I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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