i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
