oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
