No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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