well I can't set my house on fire every night
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize