I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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