Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
