Already got asked if we're dating
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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