Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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