dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have already put on my inside pants.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
