I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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