sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
