I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
