Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
