I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
