She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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