He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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