I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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