i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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