even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
