i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
